


Probably 10 Dollars

by thescarletwitchh



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Childhood Friends, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Slow Burn, both in their early 40's, mentions of depression, these two are just dumb gays
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2020-11-27 03:34:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20941610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescarletwitchh/pseuds/thescarletwitchh
Summary: Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak had spent the best summer with each other, until Richie moved away and not another word was said between them, what happens when they get stranded in the same place with the same end destination, 27 years later.





	1. Gas Station

Chapter 1: Gas Station

_ Richie’s POV _

‘Love Song’ by The Cure was playing quietly on the radio, Richie started humming along to the rhythm, and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel absent-mindedly. His mind went back to worrying about Stan & Mike, and how Mike was coping with the loss of his grandfather; He was secretly hoping that this visit they’d tell him that they’re finally moving back to Chicago, although he shut down that wish, just as quick as it came. It was kind of selfish of him and he knew it, he just truly missed his best friends.

The rain was pouring down hard making it incredibly difficult to see the road, he was scouting the right side of the road looking for a gas station or a motel to wait out the rain, but evidently, there was nothing. He let out a defeated sigh and continued the very long and exhausting drive to Derry, he thought about all the memories he had in that small town, the good and the bad. He thought about Eddie Kaspbrak and smiled, the short, no average height boy whom he befriended the summer of 1992, and how they immediately connected with one another and were almost joined at the hip until Richie had to move away. 

Richie’s mood immediately turned sour again, this wasn’t the first time he had thought about Eddie, and in all honesty, he had never stopped thinking about Eddie. He also never stopped thinking of how much of a stupid idiot he was when he cut contact with him. He kept making excuses for himself such as how he’d lost Eddie’s number and couldn’t call him, even though he’d known it off by heart. How his parents would never take him back to Derry even though they offered to, multiple times. There was a deeper and much more daunting reason Richie had cut contact with Eddie, he just couldn’t bring himself to admit it again.

He broke out of his thoughts when he stopped and old and partially rusted gas station, as he parked the car Richie prepared to run into the little hut and hoped he wouldn’t make a fool of himself.

Richie jumped out of the car, and pulled his jacket over his head and speed walked to the door and rushed inside trying to not get wet. He looked around anxiously and saw only one other customer, well the top of their head anyway. He walked pointlessly around trying to kill the time, glancing through the window hoping that the rain would stop or even calm down a little, but to no avail. The rain became stronger, Richie stopped in front the aisle that contained chips, beef jerky, what seems like an endless supply of cool ranch Doritos. He spotted a sealed box and picked it up “Wonder how much this cost?” He said a little too loudly, “Probably 10 dollars” a voice behind him said. Richie let out a sound between a laugh and a sigh, turning around to see the owner of the voice. It was none other than, Eddie fucking Kaspbrak.

_ Eddie’s POV _

Eddie has been standing so very still in the cleaning supply aisle, if the owner of the station was competent he would’ve checked on him, or kick him out. Eddie ran out of hand sanitizer and was simply planning on buying two more bottles temporarily, instead, he found himself trapped in his thoughts about his mom. Sonia Kaspbrak had passed a year ago, and unsurprisingly Eddie hadn’t begun the healing process yet. Everything reminded him of his mother, but yet he somehow kept it together relatively well. The last thing he’d expected was that hand sanitizer was going to break him.

He didn’t think that deciding between green and blue coloured hand sanitizer would send him in a spiral, and almost an anxiety attack, because it reminded him of his ma. This was his ninth time he was visiting her grave since her death. It gave him a weird sense of calmness, it’s almost like she was there comforting him, and bizarrely enough that he felt more comforted there with the cold air of where his mother should be, than he had ever felt with Ben, Bill or Beverly. He always wondered what it would’ve been like if _s__he _was there to comfort him although every time he thought about her comforting him the memories of her being overbearing accompanied it, right now Eddie just wanted this fucking shit storm to cool down so that he can drive to his mothers’ grave.

He was staring out the window trying to determine if the rain’s intensity had increased or decreased from when he had first walked in, that he hadn't noticed that someone had parked their car. His concentration was broken when he heard the chime of the bell hung above the door, and when he looked at the door it was the last person he’d ever expect to see. Richie mother fucking Tozier.

He quickly ducked behind some dish soap bottles, although there wasn’t much effort needed as they already mostly towered over Eddie, making only the top of his head visible. Everything rushed back to Eddie as he started pacing back and forth trying to think of what he could say after all those years. He couldn’t even clearly identify if he was angry or excited to see Richie. Angry, he was angry. The bastard cut contact with him promptly when he moved away, and Eddie had always wondered what he could’ve done to result in this, and what could he have possibly done to avoid this, and how it was probably his fault and not Richie’s.

Even though what had happened had hurt Eddie so much, he’d always remember his time with Richie fondly, he didn’t know why. Well he did, but he never wanted to admit it, he never even told Bill, Ben and Bev about Richie, he always kept him a secret.

Before Eddie could even process what he was doing he found himself standing behind him, his train of thoughts once again interrupted by Richie, but this it was because Rich had asked “Wonder how much this cost?” out loud, and before he could stop himself Eddie said “Probably 10 dollars”, and when Richie turned around and faced Eddie, his jaw dropped. As well as the box of Doritos he was holding.


	2. Stranded On Memory Lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a much more emotionally heavier chapter, so make sure you read the tags!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've updated and made some changes in the previous chapter, hope you enjoy this one.
> 
> No Pov's in this chapter.

Richie felt everything he could possibly feel all at once. The joy of seeing Eddie again, the fondness of their time spent together, yet it was still accompanied the shame and embarrassment he had felt when he figured out why Eddie’s company made him 10x happier. It was still wrapped with the overpowering guilt of cutting contact with him and never trying to reach out even though he had promised he would. It was still shrouded with the humiliation of knowing that he was gay and a coward, and as much as he tried to come to terms with it he couldn’t. The sound of the bell chiming broke Richie out of his trance as he attempted to compose himself in a better posture.

Eddie, on the other hand, could feel the pent-up anger fade away faster than the memories had rolled in. The sight of the messy-haired taller man took Eddie back, back to _that_ summer, back to the familiar warm feeling in his chest, back to the whirlpool of thoughts that he’d submerge himself into after he’d spend the day with Richie. Richie looked like his 17-year-old self, a bit too much, yet you could still see that time had left its mark on him. He felt it all again, but couldn’t understand how Richie still had that effect on him. It was one summer, that’s it. <strike>It was the best summer.</strike>

“Heya eds spagheds”

_And that was it. That was the trigger that pushed them back 27 years. Back to the long bike rides around Derry shouting at the top of their lungs back and forth trying to maintain a conversation. Back to the quarry when they’d sit at the edge talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up, but of course that conversation wouldn’t last more than three mins as Eddie would start freaking out over the insects, and how they could contract a million diseases due to the germs and how they wouldn’t survive the fall from the edge they’re sitting on. How Richie would try to comfort Eddie telling him that it’ll be fine and proceeded to tell him the story of how he and ‘Stan the Man’ came here one summer and jumped into the water and they were perfectly fine. How Eddie tried to maintain the shocked facial expression even though he felt a pang in his chest that went away as quickly as it came. How Richie couldn’t stop laughing at Eddie's face, never noticing the very fast change. _

_It took them back to their favourite ice cream parlour, where they’d have hour-long debates about which flavours are the best, and why Richie has the blandest taste - not like Eddie would know any better- and how Richie would just smile, and say your mom jokes to try in an attempt move past the butterflies clogging his throat. It reminded them of how they’d stay in the parlour for hours at a time because they didn’t want to face Henry and his gang, and how they’d hide in alleyways trying to avoid them. And even though Richie was much taller than him the risk of Henry calling Richie yet another slur was too high and would causeway much more damage. He didn’t want Eddie to hear him, and he didn’t want to think about how Eddie would react if he did. _

_It prompted the memories of them reading X-men comics on Richie’s bed because Sonia wouldn’t allow Eddie to read those comics if she knew. Richie would read the comics out loud to Eddie making various different voices and accents depending on the character, and no matter how many times Eddie told him to stop, and that wolverine didn’t have a shitty Scottish accent; Richie would simply respond with ‘in my world, he would’. It reminded Eddie of how every time Richie invited him over, he’d secretly hope that Richie would do his voices._

_It took them back to when Richie would randomly start to state facts he knew about animals because he used to read the encyclopedia of animals when he was seven for fun, an achievement that he’s very proud of. He would tell Eddie about how a Toucan’s beak is actually very hallowed and breaks/cracks when its hit on a hard surface and Eddie would listen intently like it was the most important thing in the world, occasionally his attention would drift and fixate on Richie's freckles instead, and how they were the perfect distance apart. Just like everything about Richie, perfect. At least in Eddie’s eyes, he was. _

Almost like it was muscle memory, Eddie scrunches his face in retaliation of the nickname. “Still remember that nickname huh?” Eddie said with a small smile on his face. “Of course, how could I ever forget?” swallowing the fear that was building up, maybe this will be okay. “I don’t know, you seemed to forget all about me when you moved” Eddie deadpanned as he moved to pick up the Doritos box, and with that Richie felt his heart get heavy and his stomach sink. It was his fault and he deserved this, it’ll always be his fault, he knew that.

He was sure it was his fault, but that didn’t stop the memories that came rushing at him from being painful. How was he supposed to explain to Eddie that he was going to call, that he wanted to call. How was he supposed to tell him that he couldn’t eat, talk, shower or even get out of bed once he moved because he understood. He finally _understood_ why he felt the way he did, but he just couldn’t deal with it. He knew this meant that he was gay, that meant he was a shame and disappointment to his mother. That meant he’d have to leave his mother and cut contact with her or forever keep it a secret.

How was he supposed to tell Eddie that coming to realization with his sexuality sent him into the worst depressive episode of his life, and how it made him more suicidal than he thought he could get. How was he supposed to disclose that he would lay on his bed crying for hours at a time with Stanley stroking his hair because he was afraid he’d do it if he was left alone; or how he would cry to Stan telling him how it’s not fair that he’s gay. He couldn’t possibly tell Eddie that the reason he didn’t call is that he thought if he cut contact with the boy that made him the happiest, but made him feel emotions no boy should feel for another, then he wouldn’t have to worry about being that way. He also couldn’t tell Eddie that the reason he didn’t call was that to some extent he wished he never met Eddie because meeting Eddie leads him to realize that he was gay. And it was the worst wish his head had desired, and his heart hurt too much because of it.

He had thought about going to church, and confessing his ‘sins’. He had thought about forcing himself to be in a heterosexual relationship, that he’d find the right girl and he wouldn’t have to feel this again. And he hated that he thought this way, but he didn’t know what to do. He even thought about “praying the gay away” or going to conversion therapy, as the idea of his mother finding out he was gay was the worst possible scenario. He isn’t proud of any of this, and he wishes he could’ve accepted himself.

** _ None of this was Eddie’s fault, and Richie knew that. He just didn’t know what else to do.  _ **

“Guess I deserved that,” Richie said quietly, and flashed a sheepish smile. “How’ve you been?” He refrained himself from calling him eds this time.

Eddie tried to compose himself, but in reality, he was at a loss for words. What could Eddie possibly say to him? That when Richie moved away, he waited by the phone every day for two weeks questioning if he gave him the right number? That he kept convincing himself that the reason Richie didn’t call was that he was probably busy with the move, then it turned into ‘maybe he lost my number and couldn’t reach me’. That he started to spend less and less time near the phone and more time in bed. Or that he would randomly burst into tears throughout the day when he’d randomly remember Richie?

Eddie couldn’t tell him that he had spent the first term of junior year blaming himself for what happened between him and Richie, or what didn’t happen, but could’ve. He couldn’t tell him that Eddie started to feel like he scared Richie away because he was a freak, and he was _sure_ Richie could tell and that’s why he stopped talking to him. He couldn’t tell Richie that he couldn’t even think about him without breaking down, that he tried to move past it, to move past him but didn’t. He couldn’t tell Richie that no matter who he befriended or where he was, there was always a piece missing. He felt stupid for feeling the way he did, it was one summer. _One fucking summer._

** _ Eddie knew it wasn’t his fault, and by the guilty look on his face, Richie knew it too. _ **

** _ _ **

“I’ve been doing just fine Richard,” Eddie said, in a desperate attempt to conceal the fact that he wanted to cry. Richie feels his chest get heavier as if someone had sat on it. Eddie shifted uncomfortably and looked out the window to see if the rain had calmed down, but alas it hadn’t.

They were both left there, in an abandoned gas station and an incompetent owner, in the middle of nowhere and no way of leaving with the shadow of their past lives looming over them.


End file.
